“There was nothing either above or below him, and I knew it. He had kicked himself loose of the earth.” – Joseph Conrad, The Heart of Darkness
For those who have read the Heart of Darkness, the tale is all too familiar: a guy descends into the wilderness, freed from the checks of society, and degrades into murderous savagery. Kicking himself loose of the morals that ground humanity to civilization’s core, Kurtz became his own god.
I’m not an atheist. Frankly I’m not ready to be an atheist. I don’t trust myself to do the right thing all the time; I need an imaginary figure to check myself. And I righteously believe in this figure: a higher power that transcends the blunt of man. This figure may not be anthropomorphic of course, but natural laws exist. If you punch a wall you’ll end up with a swollen knuckle. If you hurt another injury will strike you back. And injury can be self-inflicting, as how ended up Mrs. Reed from Jane Eyre. Paradoxically, my form of god is vague – I don’t classify myself into any organized religion – yet, I’m undeniably religious.
Whoever said God needs to exist in the form of a human? Under enough maturity, we can create our own concept of morality. But governing moral compasses can’t do anything to you; without punishment against bad deeds, no one would follow the needle. Such is the brilliance of personifying morality: under eyes that know all and see all, it’s a lot harder to do wrong. Humanizing morality creates a police force that restricts through judgement, yet the benefits of having anthropomorphic gods don’t stop there. Morality is vague and murky; for the average Joe, it’s difficult to grasp such concept. But morality in the form of a human solidifies. The actions of the almighty saint, the words of the spoken prophet, become the pillars of righteousness Joe can see, hear, and follow. To cite one of the greatest sacred texts in history, Jesus of Nazareth descended from heaven to reconcile humans with God; he reinstalled the ten commandments, restored faith in the almighty, and preached such teachings as “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). Under consideration of God as the paradigm of morality, Jesus became the ultimate messenger for humanity: he popularized morality, rendering it a cornerstone of every Christian household by personifying an otherwise abstract concept.
It takes a lot of guts to be an atheist. To believe so is the ultimate proclamation of man’s might; that there exists no higher power to govern us, that we can function under our own set of laws. Under no higher power, we must design our own moral compass to navigate through the sea of life, yet crafting such compass is difficult. It takes much wisdom to define morality. And the wisest of men readily admit the ambiguity of it. War can be necessary as a means to peace. Lies can be spoken to save another’s face. Even assuming that morality is unambiguous, how can we trust men to follow direction of such trinket? To be an atheist is to play god, to believe oneself liberated of higher powers. Yet freedom swings with a baggage of responsibilities: liberation necessitates morality and restraint in keeping to them. The great humanitarian Kurtz failed to follow through. Who are we to think we’re any different?
If you exposed yourself to other cultures and their values, it might change your perspective on just what it is you believe. Yes, it feels good to imagine that there is something/someone that has all of our best interest at heart, but, with progressive culture, science, technology, and globalization; doesn’t it seem silly? If morality is what you’re after, follow your instincts.
Kurtz isn’t real