A High School Student’s Unexpected Response to a Standardized Test Essay

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This essay was written in response to a diagnostic prompt for the Florida Standards Assessment (FSA), a standardized test intended to measure education gains and progress. Rather than following the prompt of explaining the relationship between violence and poverty, the author chose to instead voice his thoughts. 

We live in a world. A world with a bunch of people in it, I mean loads. Lots and lots of people. Individuals. Carbon-based water sacks. Whatever you want to call them, it’s up to you and your point of view. So many many people. And we live in a big, big universe. Really big. Like, humongously vast in a way that is generally unquantifiable. There are a lot of people that like to ask pointless questions like, why are we here? or who created us? or what is the answer to life. the universe, and everything? (The answer is 42) And then we have all these other people and they dedicate their lives to figuring out what the mess that is human existence is all about. They want to know why population increase happens or how we can compare the political system of a country by comparing its population to area to another country’s ratio. They see what is right in front of them and they write it down and they figure out theories and models based off of what they see. And then they argue about it a lot. But most people, and what I mean when I say that is almost every person who does not have master’s degree in some theoretical area of expertise, do not really think about any of this stuff at all. In fact, I’m sure it would not surprise you to know that they do not care about any of this stuff. People are born, shoe-horned into their respective corporations, excuse me, I mean, societies. They get a stamp on the back of their neck called a social security number, and they eat up what they are fed for the first twenty-odd years of their life, being taught to think inside the rectangular prism and not to think for yourself, because opinions can be offensive and we do not want to do that. And if you haven’t already dropped out of highschool to spend the rest of your life in your parent’s house till they croak, you get stuffed into a pigeon hole called higher education. If you make it through that and you get a bachelor’s degree, the upside is that your chance of getting employed is a bit higher. The downside is that you’re up to your knees in debt, which is really just another way to say slavery, and if you want a better chance of a job, you’ll have to spend another four years to get a master’s degree and be in even more exponential debt. And then you get to work for the majority of the rest of your life, climbing your way slowly up the food chain so that you get as good a job with as many benefits as you can get, maybe brownnosing a bit here and there, or you could just do what C. C. Baxter did and give the keys to your flat to your boss so he can spend a night away from his wife and you can get a raise. Maybe you will meet someone, but since you have been so busy with trying to get to the top of a dogpile, you never have kids. And why would you want kids anyway? You’ve been raised and told to get a job first and think of family later. Besides, what importance do family values have in this modern day and age of rapid change and revolution? You know what, forget family values, what importance does the survival of our culture and existence as a people matter anyway? As long as you’ve got enough money and things what does any of that matter. You’ll be long gone and dead within half a century anyway, and nobody will ever care that you existed, right? I mean, you only live once, or sorry YOLO, so why not have things that fulfill you in no way whatsoever and only serve to build up your debt and status as a serf to the dom of the United States of America. And there are much more people whose quality of life is so low that it cannot be rationalized on a spreadsheet, as our world leaders have tried to do time and time again.

This is the way things are. You can look at it as the ultimate failure of the modern world or as a result of an insidious coalition against humanity. What I find astonishing is the idea that this statement is controversial or that people who proclaim these thoughts are dubbed conspiracy theorists and ridiculed. You know what I want? To live in a world where people are not afraid. There is constant fear in our lives. Fear of getting hurt, fear of the world’s end, fear of being called a bigot, fear of expressing yourself, fear of loving someone else, fear of sexuality, fear of failure, fear of getting shot, fear of the truth. Fear is everywhere in our lives. It is present under every political broadcast, every news report, every hateful expression. We ask why do people want to hurt other people? Why is there so much evil in the world? The world would be a better place if all the people on it were dead. Well guess what. There is no such thing as evil. It is a concept from fairy tales and epics that tell the story of good and bad. Violence yields from fear. But I’m not afraid. I am angry, because the answer is so simple yet no one gives a damn. I am quivering with fury, my heart is bursting from outrage, my mind is shouting from the rooftops but my mouth stays shut. If I speak, if I utter a word, my voice is heard for a second before the weight of fear drowns out my words. So I write, because then someone will have to listen whether they like it or not. You can give me a zero out of fifty, I don’t care anymore. They can fail me on my ELA test if they want to. If I have to copy and paste another quote as evidence for a paper again, I’ll drop out of highschool. I’m finished with that. I know how to write a sodding paper. Actually, we all do, but for some reason it is assumed that the only way for us to do so is by regurgitating what other people say. Well I have something to say. If you want to hear it, keep reading. If you don’t, give me a zero now.

At the most basic of levels, violence is total physical representation of hate. The desire to surt someone else. And poverty is just a word we use to rate someone’s quality of life. So when we say, “violence and poverty are related, we are saying, “actions meant to hurt people lower the quality of life.”  We can see this represented in any old city in the States United; take a look at the poor areas and see the rates of violence rise. So we ask the question Why? and we say to ourselves, let’s think of three ways poverty is related to violence. Because that’s how we write an informative essay. It’s really quite easy, just right down an example and back it up with “evidence” copied from your textbook. But I have a question. What doesn’t make sense about the idea that our well being, our quality of life, isn’t at stake when there are people willing to do harm? I’m gonna make my thesis statement right now. When people put down their guns, unclench their fists, open their minds, express themselves freely, the world will not experience world peace. It will experience a transformation unprecedented in human memory. Poverty will no longer exist because violence will no longer exist because people will have nothing to fear. And it could happen tomorrow if we were ready. This is how beautifully blindingly simple it is. But alas, we are not ready. But that’s where we are going. And I know you may be thinking to yourself, Blind fool! Ignorant child! Naive infant! But it is the truth, and inside humanity is the potential of realizing this truth.

I’m not angry anymore. I don’t want to fight. I just want a hug. Maybe that’s what everybody wants.

I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes. Do not question me or tell me to rewrite this because I have nothing to answer, although I would appreciate open conversation, and I have no intention of adding quotations or page numbers. If there is no intention to converse or discuss, it would be much more convenient if I was simply given a poor grade. It must be known that I have no intention of disrespect for you, but I will not cooperate with this system. Thank you.

Kieran Whalley

One Comment

  1. Nicely done, Kieran. Keep fighting the good fight. Some of us are listening.

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