Slut-Shaming and Sexuality

Beyoncé tells us to ‘wake up flawless’ and to ‘feel yourself’ every moment of every day. However, too many women who follow Queen B’s simple rules are criticized for making choices about their own bodies, whether that involves having sex or not. The concept of sex has become so much more than reproducing to keep society alive; it is starting to define people and has become something that women everywhere are being bashed for. A woman who exercises her sexuality or is sexually active is many times considered a ‘slut’.  A woman who makes the conscious decision to withhold from having sex is oftentimes considered a ‘prude’.  Shaming a woman for any of her sexual decisions has inevitably created a double standard – one for men and one for women.  When are men ever criticized for having sex? Not too often… Instead they are applauded.  As a society, we fail to realize that shaming girls has an emotional effect on them. The girls who are called names based off their sexual choices often end up crying themselves to sleep every night. Since when is this acceptable?

Last month at the VMA awards, Amber Rose and Blacc Chyna took a stand against slut shaming and walked the red carpet in nude outfits with graffiti-print words including “whore,” “bitch,” and “slut.”  “We’re sick of getting ridiculed for loving men and being sexual beings and just being sexy women in general” said Rose. In response, makeup artist Jordan Hanz created a video that explained how name-calling affected women. Each word or phrase she painted on her body had a deeper meaning.  For example, “Damaged” meant a woman burdened with emotional baggage.  “Bitch” meant a strong-willed woman with outspoken beliefs.  Other words included, “lazy”, “prude”, and “asking for it”.  Rose, Chyna, and Hanz’s stands against women being shamed for wanting to be who they are show us a glimpse of the discrimination women face in our society today.  We are fighting a battle that brings us a new obstacle each day… It seems to be never ending.

What people do with their bodies, including sex, is their choice. Having sex or not having sex does not make you a slut or a prude. It makes you human. Hanz ended her video saying, “Be who you want to be and be proud of that… We are women.”

Shaming someone for a basic human desire is hurtful and too many people dismiss this problem.  But I say that any woman who stands up to the people telling her to be someone she is not is stronger than 10,000 men.